I support the death penalty. The government should
apply this penalty in our country in order to eradicate the violence, because
the people that create o make violence in our country ought to receive a very
strong penalty. Every year the homicides are increasing, the government must
not allow this problem to get worse, so if the bad people know that the
government apply this penalty, they won’t commit crimes, like kill people, or steal anymore, because they
will be scare for that punishment. Also , the people should not feel insecure in
any place or any moment, they should feel secure and relax every day doing
their activities. To concluded, the death penalty should be a solution to reduce
the violence in our country.
The death penalty
ResponderEliminarI support the death penalty. The government should apply this penalty in our country in order to eradicate the violence, because the people that create o make violence in our country ought to receive a very strong penalty(There are elements of repetitiveness, it sounds better with out the "because" clause since you are explaining your reasoning in the next sentence). Every year the homicides are increasing, the government must not allow this problem to get worse, so if the bad people watch (use another word, like know or acknowledge) that the government apply this penalty, they won’t make violence (Be more specific, violence has many shades, should a person in a fight with another civilian should die? or people that commit terrorist attacks?) anymore because they will be scare for that punishment. Also the people might (use "should") not feel insecure in any place or any moment, they should feel secure and relax every day doing their activities.to concluded the death penalty should be a solution to reduce the violence in our country.
-Grammar: "the homicides" instead of "homicides", "for that punishment" instead of "of that punishment", "to concluded" instead of "To conclude". Subject-verb agreement "the government apply" instead of "the government applies"
-Spelling. Capital letter after a period. "To conclude"
-There is only one supporting detail.
I liked your parragraph Llamanto. it is clear and you express very well your opinion but I believe that there is other solution for this complicated situation in our country.
ResponderEliminar